It’s About You and It’s About Others

One of the main dichotomies of life, it’s about you and it’s about others, resonates in my mind this holiday season…

I reflect back to a tale from a book about relationship:

This is story about a little wave, bobbing along in the ocean, having a grand old time. He’s enjoying the wind and the fresh air — until he notices the other waves in front of him, crashing against the shore.

“‘My God, this is terrible,” the wave says, “Look what’s going to happen to me!’”

“Then along comes another wave. It sees the first wave, looking grim, and it says to him, “Why do you look so sad?”

The first wave says, “You don’t understand! We’re all going to crash! All of us waves are going to be nothing! Isn’t it terrible?”

The second wave says, “No, you don’t understand. You’re not a wave, you’re part of the ocean.”

“Part of the ocean,” he says. “Part of the ocean.”
— Tuesdays with Morrie, page 179

Then, I think about a quote shared with me by a mentor when I was particularly burnt out after a long few weeks of work, travel and volunteer service — “Mark, don’t burn yourself to warm others.”

So, do we put our own needs aside to lift others up?
Or, should we set boundaries to protect our own energy?

The answer: both, it depends.

Our hearts beat with resonance. Waves of an ocean crash with consistency. We breathe with coherence.

A natural ebb-and-flow is inevitable. Rather than attempting to control and to change the world around us, we ought to shift our perspectives depending upon circumstances.

“The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new lands but in seeing with new eyes.” - Marcel Proust

Back and forth.
Authenticity and Attachment.
Compete alone and Cooperate together.
Dream and Take action.
Reflection and Progression.
Acceptance and Commitment.

Embracing opposing powers equates to equilibrium. Stability through oscillation. Freely grounded.

The holiday season is filled with bonding, connection, and love amongst family and friends. It’s supposed to be fun and playful. In the same breath, each individual needs his or her own space and time away to recharge and to rejuvenate. Optimizing this balance is an harmonious art, not a hard science.

Two realizations must be accounted for:

1. It’s about you

2. It’s about others

Both are true.

All alone gets too cold.

Together every second becomes too hot.

Cool down, and then warm others up.

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and Happy New Year,

MG