What matters more: getting better or getting even?
One critical idea, every good team shies away from discussing in the locker room is love.
Conceptually, the word love means: to make better. Competing with love means to approach your sport, your craft, and your team with an underlying attitude of betterment.
The reason love is oftentimes depressed and suppressed rather than expressed is because it’s hard! It requires vulnerability. It demands exposing oneself to the possibility of embarrassment, scrutiny, and rejection. The fear of rejection is among the top three fears any human being has.
Are you seeking and speaking the truth, your truth, or sugarcoating to avoid any turbulence? Are you more afraid of what someone else thinks and what someone else says, or of losing because you deliberately chose not to communicate honestly and openly?
For roughly two decades, I oftentimes decided to cheer rather than to confront. Why? Because short-term tranquility seemed optimal. Because I didn’t understand the long-term consequences of sweeping problems under the rug — issues delayed... multiply. Because I was more concerned with how I made someone feel than expressing my true thoughts and feelings.
Now conscious of any subconsciously-driven sugarcoating, I’m more aware of who I am and what I must say going forward.
Great teams are comprised of honest-oriented individuals who behave with integrity and align their words with their worlds. Great teams commit to sharing and receiving each other's truths. Among all the great teams I’ve been a part of and studied, they all embody the following sentiment: "Love wins one-goal games."
Love requires the hard right over the easy wrong. Love requires turning toward with a warm heart rather than turning away with a cold shoulder. And sometimes, love requires heated dialogue to gel as one and become more together.
A young boy is on the porch with his dog. The dog seems to be whimpering, which begins to bother the next-door neighbor.
"Hey kid! What's wrong with that dog of yours?" the neighbor yells out.
"We renovated this porch recently so there's some loose screws and nails lying around. I think she's sitting on one of those," the young boy replies.
"Why doesn't she just move?"
"I guess it doesn't hurt enough yet..."
Where in our lives are we letting things slide?
Who has not respected nor recognized us enough in a while?
Who have we not respected nor recognized?
Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.
– John 8:32