Your Life, Your Responsibility

Some events are tragedies. Others are inconveniences. The way we perceive, interpret, and respond ultimately decides.

“Because of this, something good will happen.”

Those seven words were said to me by a mentor when, as a captain of my Premier Lacrosse League team, I lost the championship game in 2020. I wish I had heard those words when I woke up with night sweats in my twenties, torn between a job and a calling… when I fractured my spine and my mom was diagnosed with lymphoma in my teens… and as a kid, when my first golden retriever passed away.

Those seven words encourage us to widen the aperture, zoom out, and see an experience as just that—an experience. There is always a blessing in every lesson.

Studying Eastern philosophy, I found the Buddha described the essence of suffering as:

Having what you do not want or wanting what you do not have.

From the perspective of psychiatry, suffering stems from feelings of loss, less, or never. When we feel we have lost, when we feel we are less than, or when we feel we could never have something, suffering metastasizes.

Pain is inevitable. Suffering is not. The degree to which we suffer is directly correlated to the degree to which we resist.

Resistance → Suffering.

Acceptance → Peace.

Yet mourning must precede acceptance, so a feeling is fully felt rather than suppressed and prolonged over years.

Now, back to responsibility. Why is responsibility relevant here? Because acceptance requires complete and personal ownership; accountability no matter how difficult a chapter in life becomes.

The Passion of Christ, the twelve stages of the cross, Jesus’ sacrifice, death, and resurrection—this is perhaps the ultimate narrative of responsibility. Imagine being innocent yet tortured by many… being betrayed by a best friend… being harmed in every way possible, yet still embracing acceptance. Millions admire this story because of its relatability—amidst pain, passion + perseverance + purpose prevail. Every human being possesses this ability to take responsibility.

Through tough times, we cultivate toughness.

Through hardship, our ships harden.

Through adversity, we advance.

What makes a river so restful to people is that it doesn’t have any doubt. It is sure to get where it is going, and it doesn’t want to go anywhere else.

– Hal Boyle

The opposite of doubt is conviction. All leaders have it. And we are all leaders—of our own lives. The bridge from doubt to conviction is built on bricks of responsibility.

Moment + moment + moment = Momentum.

A wave does not crash where it starts.

No act is too small.

Small wins lead to all wins. 

When I was 16 years old and weighed 168 lbs, I applied for an opportunity to represent a supplement company for three months. The opportunity included 90 days of unlimited supplements, a nutrition plan, and a training regimen. Two individuals out of hundreds would be chosen as testimonial participants. I poured my heart into writing my application, expressing my desire to put on weight to be more impactful on the lacrosse field. Sure enough, my passion jumped off the page, and I was chosen.

The first exercise on the first day of the first workout was “5 sets of 20 pull-ups.” I emailed the company, saying, “I cannot do 5 pull-ups. How am I supposed to do 5 sets of 20?” They responded, “See how many sets it takes you to do 100 total pull-ups. We’d love to see your progress three months from now!”

I walked over to the makeshift bar stretched across my closet doorframe and began pulling.

Just over 30 sets later, I yanked and kicked to get my chin over the bar for the 100th rep. Discouraged, I moved on to the next exercises, finished the workout, and collapsed. Exhausted—physically and emotionally. “How the hell am I ever going to do 5 x 20?” I questioned myself.

For the next 11 weeks and 6 days, I consumed the supplements they asked me to consume. I ate the six meals per day they asked me to eat. I completed every workout they asked me to complete.

On the 90th day, three full months in, I weighed 191 lbs. I stepped up to that same makeshift bar at that same closet door, yet something was different. I was different.

Minutes later, I finished my 100th rep—4 sets of 25 pull-ups.

The lesson I learned: it’s my life, it’s my responsibility to pull my own weight.

There’s nothing more powerful in this world than momentum. Progress stacked leads to progress multiplied. Success is not linear; it’s exponential.

No man steps in the same river twice, for it’s not the same river and he’s not the same man.

– Heraclitus

Take responsibility.

Keep moving forward.

Because of this, something good will happen.

— MG